Baby’s Rules: No Sitting

7 Nov

As I’ve learned recently, babies have a lot of power. They may not fully understand their ability to run the show, but for now at least, they’ve got it. Take, for example, my ability as a grown man to, say, sit on the couch. Often, this simple pleasure is flatly overruled by my daughter, who’s five months old.

How does this happen? For whatever reason–and this happens a lot–my daughter decides if I want to sit, I will have to endure screaming and squirming. I rock her, I try feeding her, playing with her, and nothing works. She gets louder. So I stand up. And she’s fine.

Now, it’s surprising how sharply limited your productivity can be while standing. Laptop? Well, the lap’s gone, obviously, so without some kind of pedestal (which I’ve thought about) the computer’s now out of bounds. TV? Yeah, I guess. But not really eating, enjoying coffee, getting any work done, or reading. And you can just forget a competitive game of Montezuma on the iPad. Not gonna happen.

Often, I pace around, tell her stories, rub her back, and wait for her to doze off. And then, with her asleep, I attempt to return to the couch. I slide into a seated position with all my grownup’s attention focused on keeping my spine in the exact same position as it is while I’m standing. I can’t for the life of me figure out how she knows I’ve stopped standing. But she does. Every damn time. And she starts crying again.

Oh, it turns out there is one thing you can do while standing. Call the wife to ask for help.


4 Responses to “Baby’s Rules: No Sitting”

  1. Bella November 7, 2010 at 7:55 pm #

    Looking at this from a positive perspective, perhaps baby is challenging to come up with “activities” you may perform while in the stand up position. 🙂 Some of which might include: lifting small handweights, wall pushups(although you’re in a slant position on this one, technically you’re still standing), walking or jogging in place, reading out loud, Tweeting, texting (new post from your phone?), listening to music, some yoga moves, and so forth. There you go…some real solutions to help you feel like you’re doing more than just standing! 🙂

    • standupkid November 7, 2010 at 10:44 pm #


      Now that you mention it, I have done baby holding squats, lunges and crunches!

  2. Marc November 7, 2010 at 9:35 pm #

    As the father of twin five month old girls, I feel your pain. There gets a point where I start crying because of the strain on my back (which strangely entertains my daughters). I’ve found my netbook on the kitchen table works for when I need to get work done and a magazine or tv when I need entertainment. A friend of mine who has girls at a year old suggests a stool; it’s the slight difference in relative elevation they feel, not the fact that you are sitting.

    • standupkid November 7, 2010 at 10:43 pm #


      Great idea for a stool! And huge congrats on the twins! You need to guest blog!

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